ramblings

making choices

when i was younger, i had my whole life planned in front of me. in the second grade, i was going to be a scientist. in the fifth grade i was going to be a teacher. in the seventh grade i was going to be a supermodel. as high school and college progressed, i didn’t have quite a finite plan, but i knew my class schedule and when work would fit in between it. 

school’s over. as a studious asian girl, it took me a while to find my bearings in the world. no more school, no finite job, no clear plan for the future… that pretty much describes the last 6 months.

however, i feel so damn lucky. got a call a month ago to see if i was interested in working at a sales company. is the work inconsistent and a lot of hard work? yes indeedy. but somehow, the universe has set a path for me to build a professional career as well as an artistic career. who gets to be their own boss at almost-23, calling all the shots and taking all the chances? while pursuing my friggen dreams?

what a lucky life i’m living, to get to make choices. i didn’t see the opportunities when i was younger since my path was so clear and the step in front of me was brightly lit. as i stepped further, the path grew foggier until i really didn’t know what i was doing. a flicker here, a light bulb there, a florescent sign there… eventually everything came together. 

although i’ve been super stressed and i have mad acne face, i’m so happy to be sitting at starbucks with my tax-exempt coffee next to oprah’s office on miracle mile on this bright sunny day reading over scripts. what a lucky girl i am to be living in america, to have my friends and family, and to have the education and opportunities in my life.

extremely blessed at the moment. not sure what i did to deserve this, but i’ll be sure to send the universe positive vibes from now on. 

BOOMTOWN! look it up son!

new year, new job, new perspective

i am not a sales person. i am working a sales job. like acting, i have invested the last month to train and master this business. without pay.

i guess there’s something about being my own boss that just won’t go away. i see that last six months as an investment for the next ten years of my life.

so, here’s to a great year of the dragon! this year will be about upgrading from college student to professional, and to understanding the true lengths of daring to suck, both in acting and in sales.

watch out. i’m going to kick 2012’s ass. while being a big bitch that complains a whole lot about work. but still kicking ass.

happy dragon days! and much love to the SD kids on American Idol! so proud :)

got my oil changed. what’s so fun about that you ask?

well if you’re like me, you’ve been going to ghetto ass vietnamese mechanics for your entire life. 

but not today. because i went to midas.

i was greeted in english. they were wearing uniforms. i signed paperwork. it was amazing. lamely, this is probably the biggest hollywood upgrade for me. documentation? done. status checkup on my car? yup. legit receipt with credit cardage? you betcha. 

until i’m rolling big with the fancy things, getting my oil changed at midas will make me feel like a baller. 

and happy 2012 everyone! i have a feeling it’ll be a good one.

new truths i will adapt for 2012

1. minimalism
2. good health
3. effective life habits
4. amazing work practices
5. allowing my heart to grow bigger
6. more color and brightness

i think that list should suffice. simplicity, health, happiness, love… all the things i will improve upon next year!

happy holidays!

weird shit happens on hollyhood

a) earlier today i posted a breakdown that was for a sexual asian girl who worked at a record label and was a stripper on the side. what the fuck right? stereotypes for the lose. here’s another goody in lieu of the holidays.

pretty awesome right? what exemplifies the meaning of christmas more than girls in skimpy clothing making out with each other while santa has a boner? apologies for my vulgar language, but i’m aghast that such a thing is thought of.

b) on a different note, today i was asked to speak in vietnamese which was fucking delightful. no, it wasn’t fob viet so that i would have a terrible caricature accent. i went on a print casting, and the photographer who was south east asian but not vietnamese spoke vietnamese with me. it’s a great way to use my beautiful language, and to top it off, i def got booked. 

alright, off my soapbox and back to working on nabbing an agent!

In the LA area and need some headshots? My brother and I are starting a photography business. Help build our portfolio!

Just fill out this form!

when things feel stagnant

my life feels consumed with materialism and inefficiency. i have all these things around me that are supposed to make my happy, pretty, warm, etc. and yet, with all these things that are supposed to bring happiness and possibly productivity/creation, i lack all of that.

i’m not writing songs or stories. i’m not drawing or painting. i’m not learning constantly anymore. existence feels still.

i’m not gonna wait for the new year for my resolutions. i have guitars (yes plural), a new keyboard, a closetful of clothes, countless resources to learn and be engaged. and i’m going to do that. i’m not striving for happiness in particular, but i wouldn’t be surprised if i stumbled upon it. 

gotta keep the wheels churning. consistency and stillness is never good for me.