ramblings

on having big dreams...

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 10:32:51 -0700

40 hours of work, 10 hours of classes, 8 hours of auditions. not including the commute. you can imagine how exhausted i am to have days where i wake up at 5 and sleep at 12.

i question my dreams and how much they’re worth. my dream to work at a tech company is just as powerful as acting at this point, except i’ll have a retirement and health plan to ensure some safety.

i knew that this journey would be difficult, but it’s not the tasks at hand that are hard. it’s keeping up this lifestyle of losing money on classes and driving and auditions. you put in a lot before you get a decent return. the lucky ones get an early break, but those who keep at this for years, i respect them for their mental strength.

really, i don’t mind rejection, and education is important me to when learning a tool like acting. but what am i doing this for?

i guess that’s a question i have to ask myself, as most of us do about why we do things in life in general. another set of incoherent ramblings…

currently 8pm, and i’m still enjoying a freshly brewed cup...

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:56:53 -0700

currently 8pm, and i’m still enjoying a freshly brewed cup of coffee. damn you coffee beans with your awesome taste and coffee cups with you cute polka dots and spoon handle!

2am traffic in la. typical… (Taken with instagram)

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 02:15:44 -0700

2am traffic in la. typical… (Taken with instagram)

underwhelming night market (Taken with instagram)

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 22:51:25 -0700

underwhelming night market (Taken with instagram)

red robin with the boyf (Taken with instagram)

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 21:54:54 -0700

red robin with the boyf (Taken with instagram)

new crossfit shoes :) (Taken with instagram)

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 15:46:45 -0700

new crossfit shoes :) (Taken with instagram)

my air babies (Taken with instagram)

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 11:56:31 -0700

my air babies (Taken with instagram)

love my norcal (Taken with instagram)

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 19:12:07 -0700

love my norcal (Taken with instagram)

officially grandma jennie

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 15:58:00 -0700

so the past week has been pretty ridiculous. i started my first salary-to-be job (damn you temp time!), went to vegas, started a new acting class. you know how it goes, when it rains, it pours.

it feels really nice to lead a normal life again. auditions, sending out headshots, going to workshops non-stop, that’s all fun when you go when you want, but it was getting so hectic. and when you don’t go anywhere after all that effort, it feels super shitty. being able to pick and choose what i do instead of having it choose me is such an empowering feeling. i had forgotten how to be beast jennie, and she is now resurfacing :)

so now i have a new career with a manager title, ridiculously challenging tasks (check out golden state crossfit), AND the ability to do acting as a passion, not a job. just worked 6am to 2pm, now off to an audition and a practice session for a scene! blessed, truly blessed. yes, i have to sleep at 11pm to make sure i wake up for work on time, but really, what’s new? gma jennie ftw!

thank you onevietnam, craigslist, AiR, my family, my boyf! it’s amazing to wake up not wanting to go to work (let’s be real), complaining about the people you work with, and seeing potential and direction in the future.

let’s do this!!! OH, and i just got instagram. today’s the shit man!

are you kidding? why the hell is this kid at berkeley? i’m...

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 22:56:00 -0700

Andrew Kooker Ad

ANDREW KOOKER SAYS CNR IS A WASTE!

ANDREW KOOKER - Liberal arts are a waste

are you kidding? why the hell is this kid at berkeley? i’m going to be really disappointed if he’s elected, bears.

hollyhood updates

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 10:31:00 -0700

the last six months have been… an experience to say the least. i came into LA with wide-eyes and sunshine for days. let’s just say that’s all dimmed down a bit.

i can’t believe it’s only been 6 months since i moved to socal. working in entertainment makes it feel like i’ve been here for years. i’ve learned so damn much about the way the city works, and what i need to do if i want to continue my dreams.

yesterday i had a conversation with kevin about my perception of the world. because i’ve been living off savings (so not really working and meeting non-actor people), i’ve have a really skewed reality of LA.

i go to auditions, classes, and other workshops to befriend an agent, manager, or cd. i’m constantly surrounded by beautiful asian girls who play my type at auditions, then go to class or workshops to be surrounded by more beautiful, well-dressed, funny, character-y people who are bold and outrageous. i’ve also accepted rejection as a part of life and don’t take things personally (most of the time) when someone doesn’t offer me a part or pick me up in their agency. in sum, my view of LA is pretty narrow and makes me constantly doubt myself to be honest.

when i started out in september, i dulled down my look to be what i thought others wanted me to be. essentially, i became a cookie cutter, generic, girl next door asian girl with no beaming personality. then i spent 6 months trying to figure out how to appeal to others. but gradually as the months progressed, i realized that i didn’t know who i was anymore, what i had to offer, and why i was here.

does that sound crazy? here i am, in the city of my dreams, and i felt so lost and confused as to how i fit in it.

in the last 2 months, i’ve been pretty unhappy about my outcome, my look, my type, etc… i hadn’t figured out who jennie was in LA. in the bay, i was my loud, hipster, sassy ass self, but in LA, i didn’t know how to be that.

in my attempts to please other, i lost apart of who i was and what i stood for. and then i turned into an actor who looked like everyone else, spoke like everyone else, and didn’t really have something memorable to offer. i lost my voice, my passion, and my reason to why i was here or what i was doing.

in the last few weeks, i’ve been trying to regain my passion and momentum. i’ve been taking the pressure to succeed out of the equation, and am now focusing on being myself and enjoying my life. i told kevin last week that i was taking a break from acting, and of course, a shit ton of offerings came my way this week. when it rains, it pours…

so i’ve decided to take “a permanent break” from hollywood. i guess playing hard to get is the best way to get its attention? i’m going to focus on union projects with higher pay (thus less auditions), revamping my style/beliefs/opinion in the new city (thus regaining my voice), and send out positive energy (by getting a job, being chill, but still sending out headshots and going to classes/workshops).

i realize that although i was pretty beastly in berkeley, i had four years to build to my senior year. i’m a freshman in hollywood right now, so i have the right to be jobless and a uncertain.

THUS, i will calm the fuck down, get a day job, and take things slowly but surely to rediscover who i am. AND stop taking life so seriously.

Clippers vs Warriors at Staples Center!

Sun, 11 Mar 2012 18:25:49 -0700

Clippers vs Warriors at Staples Center!

after.

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 21:24:25 -0800

after.

Photo

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 01:54:26 -0800

making choices

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:04:44 -0800

when i was younger, i had my whole life planned in front of me. in the second grade, i was going to be a scientist. in the fifth grade i was going to be a teacher. in the seventh grade i was going to be a supermodel. as high school and college progressed, i didn’t have quite a finite plan, but i knew my class schedule and when work would fit in between it.

school’s over. as a studious asian girl, it took me a while to find my bearings in the world. no more school, no finite job, no clear plan for the future… that pretty much describes the last 6 months.

however, i feel so damn lucky. got a call a month ago to see if i was interested in working at a sales company. is the work inconsistent and a lot of hard work? yes indeedy. but somehow, the universe has set a path for me to build a professional career as well as an artistic career. who gets to be their own boss at almost-23, calling all the shots and taking all the chances? while pursuing my friggen dreams?

what a lucky life i’m living, to get to make choices. i didn’t see the opportunities when i was younger since my path was so clear and the step in front of me was brightly lit. as i stepped further, the path grew foggier until i really didn’t know what i was doing. a flicker here, a light bulb there, a florescent sign there… eventually everything came together.

although i’ve been super stressed and i have mad acne face, i’m so happy to be sitting at starbucks with my tax-exempt coffee next to oprah’s office on miracle mile on this bright sunny day reading over scripts. what a lucky girl i am to be living in america, to have my friends and family, and to have the education and opportunities in my life.

extremely blessed at the moment. not sure what i did to deserve this, but i’ll be sure to send the universe positive vibes from now on.

BOOMTOWN! look it up son!

new year, new job, new perspective

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:02:19 -0800

i am not a sales person. i am working a sales job. like acting, i have invested the last month to train and master this business. without pay.

i guess there’s something about being my own boss that just won’t go away. i see that last six months as an investment for the next ten years of my life.

so, here’s to a great year of the dragon! this year will be about upgrading from college student to professional, and to understanding the true lengths of daring to suck, both in acting and in sales.

watch out. i’m going to kick 2012’s ass. while being a big bitch that complains a whole lot about work. but still kicking ass.

happy dragon days! and much love to the SD kids on American Idol! so proud :)

neaato: cool background design gujacq: Happy Chinese New Year!...

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:03:14 -0800

neaato:

cool background design

gujacq:

Happy Chinese New Year! Year of the Dragon: Here’s the version one of my NY greeting.

got my oil changed. what's so fun about that you ask?

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:19:26 -0800

well if you’re like me, you’ve been going to ghetto ass vietnamese mechanics for your entire life.

but not today. because i went to midas.

i was greeted in english. they were wearing uniforms. i signed paperwork. it was amazing. lamely, this is probably the biggest hollywood upgrade for me. documentation? done. status checkup on my car? yup. legit receipt with credit cardage? you betcha.

until i’m rolling big with the fancy things, getting my oil changed at midas will make me feel like a baller.

and happy 2012 everyone! i have a feeling it’ll be a good one.

new truths i will adapt for 2012

Sun, 25 Dec 2011 20:01:13 -0800

minimalism
good health
effective life habits
amazing work practices
allowing my heart to grow bigger
more color and brightness

i think that list should suffice. simplicity, health, happiness, love… all the things i will improve upon next year!

happy holidays!

weird shit happens on hollyhood

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 21:05:05 -0800

a) earlier today i posted a breakdown that was for a sexual asian girl who worked at a record label and was a stripper on the side. what the fuck right? stereotypes for the lose. here’s another goody in lieu of the holidays.

pretty awesome right? what exemplifies the meaning of christmas more than girls in skimpy clothing making out with each other while santa has a boner? apologies for my vulgar language, but i’m aghast that such a thing is thought of.

b) on a different note, today i was asked to speak in vietnamese which was fucking delightful. no, it wasn’t fob viet so that i would have a terrible caricature accent. i went on a print casting, and the photographer who was south east asian but not vietnamese spoke vietnamese with me. it’s a great way to use my beautiful language, and to top it off, i def got booked.

alright, off my soapbox and back to working on nabbing an agent!